looking at him looking up at me

I ran into a woman a couple of days ago who I know doesn’t like me, but I don’t know why, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I want to confront her about it and get to the bottom of it, because I don’t want the tension to continue, however at the same time I don’t really want to have it out with her.

What’s the right thing to do here I wonder? Just let it slide and que será, sera? I mean afterall it’s really not my business what she thinks of me, it’s her business. But it’s not nice not being liked is it?

Maybe it doesn’t bother you. Full power to you. I wish it didn’t bother me. It bothers me far less than it used to, but still it does.

…Or, should I bring it up? That would create a clearing for the possibility of a reconcillatory, conversation. Or she might just deny it.

What would you do?

*

I’m almost at the end of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. It took me a long time to warm to it, but now that I’m in the final couple of chapters I’m really enjoying it, and can look back on the rest of the book, that wasn’t quite so enjoyable, with admiration - some great writing, and a good story.

But this is not a book review. it’s just a stepping stone to another thought.

Without giving too much away – Eleanor is depressed. She’s had a pretty rough early life and its left her feeling a bit empty about life and everything in it. Things progress, and so does her mental state, and as she starts to lighten up, she begins to notice and take pleasure in small inconsequential things.

I thought about this as I hung out washing today - and the sweet sense of satisfaction I got from looking at it drying in the sunshine.

And again when I was flossing Che’s teeth, and looking at him looking up at me. I felt so lucky to be his mum and do these things for him. After that I clipped his toenails and gouged the dirt from underneath them and felt equally lucky.

I wasn’t thinking about it when I watched the mother hen scratching up dirt in search of seeds and grubs for her two remaining chicks who chirped at her feet and competed for morsels.

…When Indi and I searched the branches of the Mulberry tree for ripe berries (there were five).

…When I picked the last two lemons off the tree which is now covered in the blossom of next year’s lemons.

…When I chatted to my elderly neighbour Ken, over the back fence and he invited me over sometime for a jam (he plays guitar too).

But now that I look back on all those just now, what a blooming lovely collection of nothing little moments.

“Enjoy the little things in life
because one day you`ll look back
and realize they were the big things.”
Kurt Vonnegut

So, maybe my son’s toenail dirt is a big thing, and someone not liking me is not.

---

This is part of my Little Nothing Moments daily writing series. 

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Incase you missed it:
LNM #1: Did you Ever Notice
LNM #2: I Can Still Do A Handstand
LNM #3: I Whispered a Different Mantra
LNM #4: Adventures with Salty Water
LNM #5: I Flat out Lied to my Kids Again
LNM #6: My Name Was Gabriella